Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
