ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
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