But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
