They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
