I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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