Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize