btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
