I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
