theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize