i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
