Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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