words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Cover your peen. We're going out.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
