so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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