I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize