You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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