She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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