So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
