so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
