she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Houston, we have a blender
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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