drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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