I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
