return my video game
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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