Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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