At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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