things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
