So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
