i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
