But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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