Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
