well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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