Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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