I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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