it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
