I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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