what day is it and did you see me today?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
