Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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