oh god the rape fog is back!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just had sex bonerless
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
