Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There's a naked man in my car right now.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize