Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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