i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize