And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
