I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
