i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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