We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
