Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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