Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
