it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
