just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
