don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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