i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
