I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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