OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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