I'm going to jail i love you
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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