It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
