what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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