I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
