But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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