if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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