If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
